If you haven't come across a "Shit _____ Say" video by now then you've been living under an Internet rock. Or maybe doing something better with your time, like reading or something. The whole crazy started exactly a month ago with the original Shit Girls Say YouTube video, a filmed version of the low-key popular Twitter feed of the same name. Written by and staring the original creators, Canadian filmmakers Kylee Humphrey and Graydon Sheppard, with a guest appearance by Juliette Lewis, Shit Girls Say revolves around a man dressed as a woman spewing and reenacting random things said by girls (read young women between 16-35). Form the superficial and mundane statements to the awkwardly phrased demands and qualitative suggestions, the video was a hit because of it's so-called accuracy: many female viewers found it to be such an accurate portrayal that they couldn't help but introspectively chuckle at themselves.
But accurate for whom? "Girls" obviously, but what kind and where from? Before long, a volcano of renditions exploded, each more specific than the other. To be honest, while the original "Shit Girls Say" video was funny it was also pretty clear about what kind of girls it was referencing: middle/upper-middle class preppy White girls. Billy Sorrells's "Shit Black Girls Say" was the natural response to such a homogenous outlook on female communication, and other ethnicities, sexualities, cultures and even genders chiming in with their own videos, such as "Shit Spanish Girls Say", "Shit Indian Girls Say", "Shite Irish Girls Say", and even "Shit Southern Gay Guys Say" to name a few.
However, it wasn't until Franchesca Ramsey came out with her "Shit White Girls Say...To Black Girls" video that the meme's potential for powerful social commentary was realized. Donning a blonde wig and an on-spot valley girl accent, the comedian reveals the innate racism in many "innocent" statements/phrases White women commonly say to their (often token) Black girl pals. As a Black woman, I can concur that at least 90% of these things have been said to me: from "Am I going to be the only White person at this party?" to obsessions with my hair, complete misunderstandings and problematic reconstructions of critical social and historical occurences, nauseating usage of the word "ghetto" and accusations that I'm not Black. The video highlights the fact that White women seem to misunderstand the simple things about their Black friends and earnestly points out the privilege they have to do so.
The humor stems from the ridiculousness in Ramsey's character's belief that every Black person or thing she sees is a friend or relative of her unseen Black girlfriend, that she sees black hair as a fascinating foreign object, and that she has to worry about being the only White girl at the part (the fear within the suggestion itself is alarming). Ramsey points out that White girls often worry about and say things that other people, in this case their friends of color, don't have the privilege of saying. If I worried about being the only Black person at every party, event, or in public space, I wouldn't be able to live. Likewise, if I went around examining White hair like it was a new species and challenging their ethnicity my sanity would be questioned. However, if I took the time to point out these things or suggest that Black and White women behave differently and uniquely to their racial experiences, I'd be labeled a racist (see the ending of Ramsey's video).
That's exactly what some have accused Ramsey of: racism in her representation of the things White people say, completely missing the fact that race and the always available "reverse racism card" allow them to say those things and go unchecked. In the context of these videos however the criticism is a bit unwarranted. The entire meme is built off of an opportunity to expose that different people communicate differently. It started with stating that "girls" have a unique manner of saying things. It's funny but also encourages great self-reflection. And while the way this is portrayed has been labeled problematic (racist, sexist, agist, heteronormative, etc.), the waterfall of remixes seeks to rectify the faults. While "Shit Black Girls Say" and others challenge the hegemonic monopoly held on the image of who/what the average girl is, "Shit Christians Say to Jews", "Shit Girls say to Gay Guys" and "Shit Relaxed Girls Say to Natural Girls" challenge the privileges of certain positions in interpersonal relationships.
Like it or not, we all carry our own cultural baggage that impacts who we are and how we interact with other people, including our close friends. Often times, hidden in our innocuous statements and assumptions are ignorance and the innate prejudices that come with being a certain type of person from a particular place. It's not always serious; sometimes it's just funny. I don't why Black guys (I'm thinking now of my brother) have an annoying way of saying "Huh?" or why girls can be overly complimentary. But at the same time, it's always good to check yourself. I was embarrassed after watching "Shit Girls Say to Gay Guys" because I realized I call my gay guy friends "betch" way too often, challenging their masculinity just because of their homosexuality. It seems innocent enough, but it's also the same assumption that leads men to beating their 1-year-old sons to death (read the article here). Do I really want to be a part of that scene, even in jest? Although it's humor between friends it can be violence between strangers. Practice at home makes perfect outside; if we can learn to be a little more sensitive with the ones closest to us then we'll make great strides with our neighbors.
At the end of the day though, it's not about silencing ourselves--it's about becoming aware and gaining power through knowledge. There's nothing wrong with celebrating and even laughing at our differences or the tensions they cause in good will. Ignorance can be a lot of things, including funny. It can also be painful and dangerous. We all say some shit, but as long as we say it knowingly then maybe we can eradicate the pain and harm and stick with the humor.
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